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Alexis Gilmore (Mary Sue)

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Alexis Gilmore was a Mary Sue in the BBC Sherlock fandom slain by Agents Eledhwen and Christianne. She is most notable for being the star of a Suefic that, aside from her presence, is actually quite well-written.

Character HistoryEdit

Alexis Gilmore began as an artist and museum educator at the National Gallery of Art in London. One evening, a bit character attempted to rape and murder her, only to be prevented from doing so by Sherlock Holmes. Sherlock then claimed he had been interested in the case since the would-be rapist chose her as his next target.

The two of them began to have tea every week at Maison Bertaux, during which Sherlock would be forced via Aura of Smooth to do extremely out of character things like compliment her. Eventually, by the end of PINK, Alexis and Sherlock were in a relationship, and John Watson was relegated to the role of useless third wheel.

The first twenty chapters were comprised of Alexis tagging along on the cases. When she wasn't busy misusing Google search to upstage both John and her "boyfriend" or ruining the dramatic irony, she was standing around inflicting her opinions on the world, a notable example of which was her extremely low opinion of Kenny Prince and her apparently having to rein in the urge to murder him after he insulted her fashion choices. In chapter nineteen, it seemed as if Sherlock had come to his senses when he broke up with her, but by chapter twenty they were 1) back together, 2) shagging, and 3) hiding the real Sherlock Holmes in a convenient plothole.

The next series of chapters involved her messing with the rest of the series by 1) getting kidnapped by Moriarty in lieu of John, 2) dropping Molly Hooper into a convenient plothole at Christmastime, and 3) defaming other female canon characters. After Sherlock's fall, she fell into depression and tried to commit suicide by slitting her wrists, only to be stopped by Sherlock himself. And because she totally has her priorities sorted, they then shagged. The fic is still unfinished and continues to be updated on a regular basis.

The biggest shame about the entire thing is that the prose is actually pretty good and the author's attention to detail is evident. However, because a great deal of the denizens of the Pit of Voles think that Mary Sues are supposed to be blatantly perfect and/or only exist in grammatically terrible fics, a majority of Alexis's readers believe she isn't a Mary Sue. This suggests that the very name of Mary Sue has been marred by misuse and litmus tests which test for form over function. Obviously, anyone who knows anything about Holmes's historic distrust of women and BBC!Sherlock's absolute disinterest in things like dating and love would have spotted Alexis's Suvian nature from a mile off.

Alexis's biggest crime would therefore be creating Stulock Holmes, the sappy, urple-tongued character replacement of Sherlock Holmes.

ChargesEdit

Eledhwen and Christianne followed her through her story up to the first major breach in canon at chapter 22, when Alexis was kidnapped for the pool scene in GAME instead of John. All throughout the mission, Eledhwen's CAD veered on the edge of breakage; when Sherlock realised his Twu Wuv for Alexis, it exploded.

Alexis's tendency to skip around the canon scenes as she pleased caused Eledhwen to undergo temporal distortion sickness, an ongoing issue of hers. Alexis's entire existence as basically a heteronormative stand-in for John Watson annoyed both agents to no end, and when they finally found the real Sherlock Holmes in a plothole, he offered to help them dispose of her. Apparently BBC!Sherlock, when character replaced, becomes aware of the PPC.

The charges for Stulock are as follows:

“Sherlock Holmes the Uncanon, you are charged with impersonating a Canon Character, being a Gary Stu, being more maudlin than a harlequin romance novel, cheapening a canon relationship – namely, one bromance between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson – in favour of a Mary Sue, possessing weapons prior to meeting John, and generally lowering the IQ of the entire fic every time you opened your mouth. The punishment for these transgressions is death. Any last words?”

The charges for Alexis are as follows:

“Alexis Gilmore, you are hereby charged with: being a Mary Sue, causing character replacements and ruptures – most notably in Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. Creating a slew of bit characters, confusing museum galleries, confusing ancient Chinese numeral systems, causing events to eventuate solely for your benefit without regards to the plot, causing the entire damn universe to revolve around you and your stupid issues, creating nonexistent art programmes at the National Gallery of Art, living in a hotel and calling it your flat, creating mini-Hounds and Mochi nations – to whit, Roland Curr and Columbia. Giving Sherlock weapons prior to meeting John, ruining dramatic irony, upstaging canon characters – especially John Watson, but Sherlock Holmes as well to a lesser degree, and misusing Google Search by Image. Stealing lines, reusing lines, stealing roles, and generally rendering characters like John redundant to the plot. Having sex right after a traumatic kidnap hostage scene, employing bad biology, plagiarising the episodes without anything significant to add, making Sherlock take a case only because you’re in it, espousing Twilight-like ideals of stalker boyfriends and dogged nice guys, misusing semicolons, causing medicine malpractice, causing British characters to use American slang. Whinging too much about a so-called tragic past, dropping Molly Hooper into a plothole at Christmastime, defaming Inspector Dimmock, Irene Adler, John Watson, Kenny Prince, your own bit characters, and anyone who even bothers to look at you or Sherlock oddly. Being totally contrary to your assumed personality. Annoying PPC Agents. Employing temporal-spatial compressions, and making Mycroft invoke the Electra complex. For all of this, you are subject to experimentation and death at the hands of Sherlock Holmes. Any last words?”

DeathEdit

After being knocked out, Alexis was stuffed into a body bag and left in the morgue at St Bart's Hospital. With the Agents (and a bemused John) as witnesses, Sherlock whipped her to death with a riding crop. Afterwards, Eledhwen and Christianne neuralyzed both canon characters.

LinksEdit

Chances are, with her story still being written, a follow-up mission or missions may be necessary.

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