Department of Bad Slash
Abbreviation:	DBS
Director:	The Queen Anne's Lace
Flash Patch:	A rubber ducky with three eyes

The Department of Bad Slash deals with badfic that involves poorly written slash. It is one of the oldest and yet still one of the smallest departments in the PPC. Agents employed by the DBS are exposed to mind-numbingly bad romance, erotica, and biological aberrations on a daily basis, and consume vast amounts of mind-altering chemicals (see Bleeprin) in order to deal with it. Add to this the fact that, as slash fiction more often than not does not involve original characters, there is precious little soothing homicide to be had, and it is understandable that Bad Slash is not the most popular beat amongst those drawn to the Canon Protection Initiative.

Agents of the Department of Bad Slash are usually called Bad Slashers, which occasionally causes confusion as the authors of the bad slash they combat are known as badslashers. In the event of this confusion occurring, members of the DBS may also be called Exorcists.

Contents 1 History 2 Methods 3 Known Agents 3.1 Lord of the Rings/Tolkien Division 3.2 Harry Potter Division 3.3 Freelance 3.4 Yiff 3.5 Division of Bad Het 3.6 Division of Mpreg 3.7 Other 4 Mission Reports 4.1 Lord of the Rings/Tolkien Division 4.2 Harry Potter Division 4.3 Bad Het Division 4.4 Mpreg Division

HistoryEdit

The Department of Bad Slash was the fourth Action Department formed in the PPC, following the Department of Mary Sues, Department of Implausible Crossovers, and Despatch. At the time, it was run by the Gladiolus. During the Reorganisation, she departed with the Mysterious Somebody, and her place was taken by the Queen Anne's Lace (formerly of the Postal Department). When the decision was made to instate the Division of Bad Het, the Gladiolus was reinstated as its head.

Methods Edit

In the Department of Bad Slash, slash spirits or Sue-wraiths are assumed to have possessed canon characters acting oddly. Thus, the common method for correcting the work is to exorcise the spirit. To this end, all DBS agents are equipped with whatever might be the appropriate interpretation of 'bell, book and candle' for their chosen universe. In Arda, for instance, a standard bell and candle are teamed with various volumes of the works of Tolkien. In Harry Potter, the book will be the most apt book of the series. In the event of exorcising the spirit from a non-fictional person, the book will be whatever works they are known for; for actors it will be recordings of their films, for musicians, copies of their albums.

Exorcisms are usually carried out with the standard 'Avaunt, all ye elementals!' and 'Get thee behind me!' vocabulary, and the phrase 'the power of TOLKIEN compels you!' (or ROWLING, or PIERCE, or SPIELBERG, insert-author-here) is generally used as the coup de grace. Slash spirits may be captured in jars, but usually they will dissipate and take any geographical aberrations with them. Spirits have been known to communicate with agents, and occasionally assault or try to possess them.

Charge lists are tailored to individual pairs of agents and to each continuum. Bad Slash agents don't get to read out a grand list of charges before killing things; instead, a charge list is filed at the end of each mission simply for the sake of keeping things in order. Thus, the charge list doesn't always feature too heavily in the narratives of the DBS.

Known Agents Edit

Lord of the Rings/Tolkien Division Edit

• Agent Luxury (and technically Agent Sean, who is MIA)
• Agents Tulath and Pablo Dretti
• Agents Kayleigh and Salamander.

Harry Potter Division Edit

• Agent Dee and Agent Milask

Freelance Edit

• Agents Trojanhorse and Paddlebrains
• Agents Michel Javert and Rouge
• Agents Dana Trent and Tarian Toran
• Agents Sarah Vym and Elaina Thyme
• Agents Xericka and Gremlin
• Agents Mal and Orion
• Agent Decima

Yiff Edit

Main article: Yiff

• Agents Stormsong and Skyfire

Division of Bad Het Edit

Main article: Division of Bad Het

• Agents Katie Cray and Gypsy

Division of Mpreg Edit

Main article: Division of Mpreg

• Agents Oscar Henson and Iza

Other Edit

• Agents Prosciuttino and Andronicus (the latter is deceased, and it is not known who Prosciuttino was repartnered with or if he is still in the department)
• Agents Sufficiently Advanced Vending Machine (SAVM) and Sandra Richardson
• Civilian Phobos had a DBS flash patch and mission forced upon him due to a case of mistaken identity

Mission Reports Edit

• Missions from this department are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, by division.
• Uncategorized Bad Slash missions are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Slash, Freelance

Lord of the Rings/Tolkien Division Edit

• Missions from this division are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Slash, Lord of the Rings/Tolkien

Harry Potter Division Edit

• Missions from this division are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Slash, Harry Potter

Bad Het Division Edit

• Missions from this division are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Slash, Bad Het

Mpreg Division Edit

• Missions from this division are listed on The Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Bad Slash, Mpreg