|Department of Mary Sues|
|Director:||The Sunflower Official|
|Flash Patch:||A potted cactus|
The Department of Mary Sues is the subsection of the PPC that deals with finding, repairing the damage done by, and killing Mary Sues.
The DMS was the first department in the PPC, set up while it was still the Organisation, and was originally led by the Poppy. From the time of its formation until the Reorganisation in 1999 HST, the head of the DMS was also the Deputy for Action.
Following the death of the Poppy in 1992, the Sunflower Official took over the leadership of the DMS, giving control of the PPC as a whole to the Mysterious Somebody. Despite the various changes which have taken place since, the Sunflower still runs the DMS today.
Perhaps the massive comparative size of the DMS, its many diverse divisions, and the high turnover rate of agents can be explained by the inherent risks taken by its employees. Although many if not all departments of the PPC come in contact with Mary Sues, the DMS seeks them out pointedly. And while the most powerful of Mary Sues are (usually) handed to ESAS, the DMS on average faces the most Mary Sues in direct confrontation.
Because most Mary Sues have the ability to turn the entire canon against a hostile force, there is an element of danger sometimes not portrayed by the humorous mission reports many agents put out. However, that the reports are funny makes sense on two levels: One, if a mission is funny, it is also not tragic, and tragic missions usually involve casualties... and if an agent dies in action, they don't make a report at all, skewing the feedback. Two, it would take an absolute madman to portray awful soul-crushing fic as funny—the same sort of madman that would go charging off after what amounts to a physical god in the first place.
Mary Sues are often defeated not because their powers are insufficient to save them, but because they are often stupid to the point of crippling themselves for the sake of their own lusts or plots. But, the true danger in confronting Mary Sues can be seen in the casualties sustained in the macrovirus outbreak, the 2008 Mary Sue Invasion, every single unreadable name engraved into the Tomb of the Unknown PPC Agent, and the the sheer number of new, fresh agents that manage to survive one mission and report it and yet are never seen again.
Usually, most DMS agents carry:
- Weapons. Many weapons. To the point of collecting a vast arsenal. DMS agents are not sometimes referred to as assassins for nothing. Agents must be able to kill even a godmoding Sue and they are also only allowed to carry canon-appropriate weapons, which is one reason for the many divisions of the DMS. Strictly LotR agents, for example, are able to specialize in weapons appropriate to the setting without fear of being suddenly told to use a blaster rifle. Agents in the Video Game Division, or other divisions that cover many different canons, have no such luxury. Personalized weapons or weapons lifted from slain Mary Sues are especially prized once the glitter is rubbed off of them. Probably because they are especially shiny.
- A CAD, one or more of many different varieties—usually whatever is in fresh stock. They have a tendency to break. If an agent carries only a Canon Analysis Device, it is wise for his/her partner to carry a Character Analysis Device. Some agents even carry backups.
- A neuralyzer, to repair the memories and mindsets of canon characters that have been enthralled by Mary Sues—though severe victims might have to be brought back to FicPsych if the self-correction in the canonverse doesn't fix their trauma along with their memories.
- A D.O.R.K.S, to change disguises on the fly—though if it's not needed on a mission it can be left in the RC and the disguise generator can be sufficient.
- Bleeprin or preferred substitute. Alcohol on-duty is highly discouraged.
- A remote activator to enable portal travel.
Sometimes, DMS agents also carry:
- Reconnaissance equipment. Intel/DoI carries this, but it also can be useful to DMS agents who must keep their distance from their targets. For example, agents Jay and Acacia once used a pair of binoculars that could see through walls. Some agents may employ tracking devices to follow erratically moving targets, but the RA's "home in on Sue" function usually suffices.
- Emergency communication. In case of, well... emergency.
- Emergency supplies, such as food, a tent or bedroll, rope, etc.
Those last two things really ought to be standard, but nobody ever said the PPC had agent safety in mind.
- Main article: Divisions of the DMS
- Anime/Manga Division
- Freelance Division
- Harry Potter Division
- Video Games Division
Mission reports for the DMS and its divisions are listed on the Complete List of PPC Fiction, Department of Mary Sues.