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A Despatch kit is a set of gear used mainly in Despatch, from whence comes its name, and the Department of Implausible Crossovers. The standard kit includes the following:

Technological items:

Non-technological items:

  • Ipecac syrup: To induce vomiting. NOTE: Use ONLY if the Whatsit doesn't have a character's particular metabolism in its databank.
  • Knock-out drops: To knock out the author long enough to return the characters to what they should be doing.
  • Mace: If the author is a Mary Sue/Marty Sam of a most blatant type, they may wind up warping things enough that the characters try to defend them against their removal. Mace can't hurt them, but it will knock them out.
  • Senna pods: To hurry uncanonical food through a character's system. NOTE: Use ONLY if the Whatsit doesn't have a character's particular metabolism in its databank.

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