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Harrow

The Balrog Sue

Harrow, also known as the Balrog Sue, is one of the more peculiar Sues to catch the attention of the PPC. This monstrosity was captured by Adam and Frenchie of the A/V Division.

Character History Edit

Adam and Frenchie came across Harrow on a routine mission to capture audio samples for the B. S. Johnson Collection of Improbable Sounds, in this case the roar of a Balrog. They accidentally wandered into a fanfic in time to witness Durin's Bane spout pop slang at Gandalf and plummet to his death. Harrow appeared shortly thereafter. She had, horror of horrors, bright blue eyes and a multicolored mane. She dove after him (dragging the agents with her in a tangle of recording equipment) and apparently spent the rest of the fic whining and crying about her mate and their fuzzy, loveable family in a manner most unfitting for a fire demon of the ancient world.

Sadly, the mission doesn't go into great detail about exactly how the Sue acts soppy and ruins the badass reputation of Balrogs everywhere. This probably has to do with the fact that the fall knocked Adam and Frenchie unconscious, rendering them unable to witness the specifics. The fact that she's still at it when they come around speaks volumes nonetheless.

Charges Edit

Harrow was charged with "giving the demon of Moria a stupid name, causing him to act incredibly out of what character he had to begin with, causing him to use modern slang, using modern slang yourself, deforming a canon by creating a warm and fuzzy family for a creature of evil, insulting the eyes of PPC members by trying to apply human standards of beauty to a fire demon, causing other PPC members the trauma of having to think about the implications of a Balrog pregnancy, acting soppy, endangering our collecting mission and being a Mary Sue!"

Character Demise Edit

Unfortunately, not being Assassins, the Geeks didn't actually kill Harrow. Fortunately, this unwieldy creation became the entertainment of several of HQ's mini-Balrogs.

Links Edit

Sadly, the original fic is lost to the mists of time. The mission is as follows:

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