A laundry room is a room designated for the treating of laundry, usually clothing and bedding. In modern World One, this usually involves machine-washing and -drying, and may also include softening, stiffening, and/or pressing the articles according to type and preference. Hand-washing and air-drying are also used, and the removal of stains is practically a science unto itself.
In Headquarters, this all becomes somewhat challenging, given the wide variety of beings employed by the PPC, many of whom have unique ways of performing these tasks; not to mention the mind-boggling challenge of providing the required variety of plumbing and wiring in a place that doesn't actually belong to any one location in space-time. Fortunately, the unknown architects of HQ rose to the challenge with one or several HQ laundry rooms.
Description
The first known description of a laundry room in Headquarters goes like this:
- It seemed that whoever had designed the room had tried their best to accommodate every need they could imagine using plotholes as plumbing, which resulted in a chaotic hodge-podge that would have made Bloody Stupid Johnson proud. The room was more of a chamber, really, with a domed ceiling that sloped gently down to the floor. Near the entrance, raised about a foot and a half from the floor, was a large circular basin with water that bubbled up from the center and flowed away through drains around the inside rim. Machines from a variety of continua, some of which were running, some of which sat apparently dormant, riddled the remaining space in maze-like disorder. As if that weren't bad enough, there were shelves, and those held a bewildering variety of liquids, solids, powders, sheets, and cakes of stuff with names in several different languages and scripts.
It also has a series of very obvious yellow arrows painted on the floor, the first labeled "THIS WAY TO THE GOOD MACHINES!" The arrows lead to a series of World One–type washer/dryer sets, and so were probably left by a human agent with humans in mind. Others may have better luck ignoring them.
Narrative Laws and Laundry
Everybody knows that one sock out of a pair goes missing in the wash. In Headquarters, this is especially true, and may be due to the fact that the various hook-ups for the machines and other apparatuses involve the use of plotholes. (It could also simply be the rules.) Agents making use of the facilities should be aware of this and may wish to take precautions, such as throwing in a sacrificial sock as a diversion, or even keeping an eye on their laundry until it is done in order to avoid the hilarity that would result from their entire wardrobe going missing or getting turned pink or coming out with all left sleeves/pant legs. These things happen.
Reference
- Dirty Laundry, Agents Ilraen and Orken.