The Lichen is a lichen that sounds like John Cleese, which is the source of arguments between Admiral Pansy and itself. It is the Head of the Department of Implausible Crossovers. Prior to 2006, it was a member of the Board of Department Heads, but after the Wisteria was killed, membership was reshuffled. As the DIC's place among the three largest Action departments had been taken by the Department of Floaters, he was replaced by the Floating Hyacinth.

In 2015, the Lichen impressed a green Fire Lizard. Thus far, it has not appeared in writing.