Saphie Ellings is an agent in the Department of Bad Parody, Troll Division. She was written by Boarder!Saphie.

Agent Profile Edit

Saphie is talkative, accident-prone, and "not the brightest bulb in the drawer."[1] She joined the PPC in 2003, after an incident involving a giant, ceramic cow head got her fired from her previous job at Joe's Meat Barn. After the grease and filth there, she figured conditions at the PPC had to be an improvement.[1]

Shortly after arriving in Headquarters, she managed to offend Jay Thorntree and Acacia Byrd when she ran into them in the hallway and, not realizing who they were, demanded that they direct her to the lobby while claiming she was close, personal friends with them. Naturally, the famous assassins weren't impressed by her immature, "the world owes me" attitude and told her to go find it herself.[1]

Shortly after that, she managed to slip on a puddle of silver (probably blood from the unicorn pelt Jay and Acacia had with them) and destroy a sculpture it had taken Smurly the receptionist three months to build. She only escaped his wrath by darting for the nearest escape route: an elevator that happened to contain Marokee Brin and Leelee, who became her new partners.[1]

Fortunately, what Saphie lacks in other areas, she makes up for in extreme resourcefulness, to the point of getting her hands on a copy of the PPC Manual when such a thing was not known to exist.[1]

At some point, she became an official Tea Maker in the Temple of GreyLadyBast.[2] As such, during ceremonies, she would have worn floor-length grey silk robes, a bronze cat amulet, and potentially a replica of the Most Holy Hat, with a grey plastic apron allowed during sacrifices and smitings.[3]

Agent Saphie, or a version of her, attended the Official Fanfiction University of Discworld in 2004[4] and, after the time-skip, in 2013.[5] Her lust objects include Discworld's Samuel Vimes[6] and the Administrator of OFUDisc,[7] also known as Huinesoron.[8]

She is owned by a mini-Balrog named Samm.[9]

She likes her meatloaf cooked with bacon strips on top and covered with ketchup.[1]

Mission Logs Edit

Home: The Troll Hunters at

Partnered with Marokee and Leelee Edit

References Edit

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 "Of Lawn Gnomes and Meatloaf" by Leelee, Meir Brin, and Saphie, Jul 21, 2003
  2. The Holy Book of GreyLadyBast, Chapter VI: "The Official Smiting Ceremony" by Huinesoron
  3. The Holy Book of GreyLadyBast, Chapter III: "The Clothing of the Servants of the Goddess" by Huinesoron
  4. The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld (original) by Huinesoron, 2004
  5. The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld by Huinesoron, 2013
  6. The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld, Chapter 7 by Huinesoron, Apr 23, 2013
  7. Author's note for The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld, Chapter 6 by Huinesoron, Apr 17, 2013
  8. Author's note for The Official Fanfiction University of Discworld, Chapter 15 by Huinesoron, Jun 27, 2013
  9. Miss Cam's List of Mini-Balrogs

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