Part IV of the Things I am not Allowed to Do at the PPC List.
Can be found on the PPC LJ Community here.
291. I will not dump Elrond onto the Disc.
292. Quark and Kadish must never be allowed to meet.
293. Mr. Pounder would be most unwelcome on Terramort.
294. I will not sow salt in the Flowers' soil.
295. I will not haze newbies by making them read all of "Celebrían."
-Nor "Cho Chang's Desires."
-Nor any fic from That Series.
-In fact, atrocious badfics are not for hazing at all.
296. I will not threaten to assimilate another Agent.
-Nor will I act on that threat.
297. The hourglasses in Death's Domain are not toys.
-Nor are the scythes.
298. I will not use Zeeky H. Bomb to threaten the Flowers.
-Because everyone knows how that would turn out.
299. I will not attempt the Vulcan Nerve Pinch on a Ghostling.
300. I will not tease a Yuuzhan Vong Agent's tools.
301: I will not drop Rivendell onto Mon Calamari.
-Nor will I allow Rivendell to be dropped onto Mon Calamari.
-For that matter, I will not allow Rivendell to be dropped anywhere other than its original site.
302: In fact, I will not allow any large buildings to be transported anywhere.
-Even if it would be really funny.
303: When sharing an RC with two other agents, I will not attempt sabotage on their half of it by covering it, wall-to-wall, with pages from any of the Legendary Evils of the PPC.
-Even if that agent has taken over your half of the RC with pictures of L and Matsuda.
304: I will never teach my mini to eat assignments.
-for the Flowers will kill me dead. Or worse, send me to That Series.
Nor will I teach them to eat my sister's assginments. (Ha-ha, 402. Who's laughing now?!)
305: I will never attempt to clone a canon to help with paperwork.
-because I have seen the Anti-Lusting Films and will never again if I can help it.
306: I will not tell blonde jokes when any of the Vanyar are in earshot.
307: I will not give a Yuuzhan Vong a pair of Rock'Em Sock'Em Robots.
308: I will not put the 300 Spartans into Helm's Deep.
309: I will stop singing The Jay and Silent Bob Rap.
310: I will not wonder aloud whether Flowers mate in dark storerooms.
311: I will not attempt to find proof that Flowers mate in dark storerooms.
312: I will not make jokes about Spiderman being an emo.
-Okay, maybe once or twice.
313: I will not nuke Mordor, unless I have arranged for a Mary Sue convention ahead of time.
314: At a wedding, I will not spike any beverage pertaining to the bride and groom with anti-Lustin.
315: I will not administer Bleep-anything to avian or ornithanthrope Agents.
-It wreaks havoc on their respiratory systems.
316: Mary Sues are not simply misunderstood.
317: I will not require the Animorphs to register as Animagi.
318: I will not spike a Human teetotaler's beverages with Romulan ale.
-Nor a Vampire teetotaler's with blood.
319: I will not introduce Prince Orlofsky to Romulan ale.
320: I will not draw Agents I dislike in compromising positions.
-Nor will I photoshop heads onto Truth or Dare games.
321: When Titus Andronicus is serving a meal to the Emperor, I will not yell "Soylent Green is people!"
322: I will not have Fleet Admiral Gardner sing "When I Was a Lad."
323: I will not attempt the Imperius Curse on anyone.
-Especially not my LO.